God Wants to Give You a Gift

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- When despair for the world grows in me

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and I wake in the night at the least sound,

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I go and lie down where the wood drake rests [cat]

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his beauty on the water and the great heron feeds. [videos]

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Come to the peace of wild things

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who do not tax their -- [background sounds build]

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- Distracted yet?

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What would our lives look like

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if we took a break from all this,

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the 24 hour news cycle

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and doomscrolling ourselves to death?

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How would our lives be better if we made space

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for talking and dancing and laughing with each other

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until we pee our pants?

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God wants us to experience a full life,

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but our distractions are getting in the way.

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It's time to kill the noise and listen for God's voice

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echo through the pages of the Bible.

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Let's unplug.

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Unplug from digital distractions

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and plug into the real life God has for us.

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- Hey, welcome to Crossroads. I'm Emily.

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- My name is Andy and Crossroads is a church

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of normal people all over who are running after God together.

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And some of us meet in church buildings like this one.

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- But not everyone does.

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I not long ago was a student in Wisconsin,

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and my sorority sisters and I participated in Crossroads,

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just like you are right now by watching through a screen.

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- Yeah, and we're kicking off a series

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or continuing a series called Unplugged

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where we're sort of looking at our digital habits

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and just asking, God, do you have anything

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You want to say about this?

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Are there any habits or tools that

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we can put in place that will help us navigate

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through life in a way that's more present,

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that's more healthy and more connected?

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- Yeah, and a helpful tool that

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we're actually about to practice is music.

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Now, I typically have music on in the background,

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but in just a moment I want you to try

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to not just let music be in the background.

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I want you to bring it to the forefront of your brain

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and actually focus on what the words are saying,

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and try to see what God has for you in this moment.

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Alright. Good morning, everyone, welcome to church.

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My name is Eric, if we have not met,

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I want you to stand on your feet

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because we're going to start with singing.

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If you're new to church and new to Jesus,

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hey, it's okay, you're in the right place.

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We're just going to sing about Him because we love Him.

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Come on.

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That's our desire, Lord, that Your Kingdom would come,

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that it would change us, that it would transform us.

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We love You.

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- Well, hey, everybody, welcome.

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Whether it's your first time here

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or it's your hundredth time here, we're glad you're here.

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Thanks for coming out.

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You are in the second week of the Unplugged series,

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and we are taking a look at our digital consumption

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and just asking God does He have anything to say about this?

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And our lives are full of distractions. Full.

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And a lot of them come from this little device right here.

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And so I want to flip it.

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Let's flip it on its head.

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And what if this device could not be a distraction,

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but actually be a way that we connect with God,

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maybe even a way that we worship God?

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So I want to practice that today.

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I want to use a scripture, James 1:16-17:

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That's a bold statement,

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and probably one that's kind of hard to swallow.

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Everything in our lives, every gift,

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good gift, comes from God.

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Not from hard work,

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not from all that great planning that we do.

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It's all from God.

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And I want us to choose to believe that today.

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So take out your phones.

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I'm being serious. Take out your phones.

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This is an opportunity for us to maybe say,

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"Maybe this thing in my hand right now is a gift."

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Open up your photo app.

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Scroll through your pictures.

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And when you come across one that just makes you smile,

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you just feel happy or joy in your heart,

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stop on that picture.

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Did you find it?

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All right, here's mine.

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So this is a picture of ten women that are in my life.

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We've been meeting for the last ten years every other week.

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And I just want to say thanks to God.

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Thank You for bringing these women into my life

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and using them to grow me

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and to strengthen me and to challenge me

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so that I can be closer to my true identity.

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And you're going to have an opportunity to do the same.

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In the next song we're going to get to say,

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"Man, thanks, God, thanks for this thing

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that you just identified on your phone.

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We are grateful."

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- That's right. So don't put your phones away yet.

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But holding that photo, holding that memory in hand,

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we get a chance to put a prayer

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or conversation to God directly, talking to Him

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with a melody and step into alignment, saying,

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"I believe that You're the source of my gratitude."

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So pray like this.

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- So I give it back to him.

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- With a smile we sing.

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- Lord, we thank You.

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And if you got gratitude in your heart,

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make some noise with your hands, maybe you give him a woo.

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God, would you hear that gratitude?

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Whether it's got a melody to it,

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whether it's just me speaking it,

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whether it's a smile on my face

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that represents a smile in my heart,

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like in the deepest part of me, my soul.

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No matter what I've faced this week, I tell my soul

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that the God above all gods loves me and wants good for me.

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So I don't let my circumstances dictate my response.

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My trust in You dictates my response, and I say,

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"With all that I am, everything that I have good

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comes from You because I believe You see me,

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You know me and You love me.

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And that's true for every single person

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who can hear my voice today.

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Thank You, God, for being so good

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and so powerful and so generous.

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I give my praise to You and all that You are.

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Amen. Amen. Yeah.

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Man, we got such a good day playing together today.

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Why don't you turn to somebody next to you and say,

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"Hey, glad to be here with you," and you can have a seat.

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- So good. I'm so glad that Eliana went to Alabama as well.

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And I want to invite you to pack a bag,

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maybe like this one, and join me in Alabama June of this year.

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Why do we go to Alabama as Crossroads?

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We go because it is a spiritual pilgrimage.

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I don't know if you know this or not, but at Crossroads

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we've been praying and asking God for an awakening.

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We want to see millions of people

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in our country's hearts change.

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We want to see millions of people

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come to relationship with Jesus.

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And we don't want it to just impact them individually.

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We believe that when more and more people

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get connected to the love of Jesus,

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that love begins to spread into their families.,

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it begins to spread into their communities.

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It spreads into our country.

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And we want that. We want that.

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Do you want that? Do you want to see that?

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And so that's why we go.

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That's why we go to places like Alabama.

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So I want to invite you to come with me,

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because down there we get a chance to tap into

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the spiritual legacy of the civil rights movement.

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It was a spiritual movement.

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It was a Jesus centered movement.

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We're going to unpack that together.

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And we also get to be a part of deep change

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that's happening in Montgomery and in Selma right now.

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We're going to get our hands dirty, roll up our sleeves,

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and get to volunteer alongside some amazing partners.

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And you'll just see the heart of Jesus

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in a way that you just don't want to miss.

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So I want to invite you to pack your bag.

00:28:09

I want to invite you to go to Crossroads.net/Trips.

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We've got some spots left on this trip.

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It is filling up, but we'd love for you to be

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one of the people with me in Alabama this year.

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So we are in our second week of a series called Unplugged.

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And this is like a series plus.

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You know, we do series, we teach kind of same topic.

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But this one is actually leading to something

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we're all going to do as a church together.

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We're going to do a digital reset.

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What does that look like?

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We're going to do a 40 day digital reset

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that starts March 5th,

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where we are changing our relationship

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and examining our relationship with these devices.

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This is what we're giving up for Lent at Crossroads.

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Now, you might have heard the word Lent.

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Lent is kind of part of this fasting routine

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that's been a part of the church for many, many years.

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And oftentimes people give up something during Lent.

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You might have heard somebody say, "I'm giving up meat,"

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or "I'm giving up chocolate," or "I'm giving up whatever.

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I'm doing some kind of fast."

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And the way that I think about fasting is

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fasting is always giving up something in the physical,

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so you can gain something in the spiritual.

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And so as we step into this digital reset,

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I believe there's something for us to gain.

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I want to start with this scripture, James 1:17.

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We've heard it already, but I want to bring it up again.

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James 1:17 says this. We need to lock in on this today.

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Here's what I believe.

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I believe you step into this digital reset,

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God wants to give you a gift.

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I believe that this is -- It's easy to think about

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this as what we're going to get away from.

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It's easy to maybe think about the pain of this,

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and it's going to be challenging, right?

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We're all connected to our phones, tethered to our phones.

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But I believe that in the midst of this

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God wants to give you a gift.

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And let me be very clear, Crossroads is not anti-tech.

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This is not us being anti-technology.

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I mean, friends, look at this big screen behind me.

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We're clearly not anti-tech, right?

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And to be clear, there is no doubt that

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technology has changed my life for the better.

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I got some things up here that just remind me

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of the wonder that comes with this thing in my pocket.

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Because, you know, before we had this,

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we had to carry all of these things separately.

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So let's see what I got in this bag of goodies here.

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Anybody remember one of these? Right? Right.

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You know, before we had Google Maps or Apple Maps

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on our phone, I was in sales.

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My first job was in sales at P&G.

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And I remember, like, in South Jersey,

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having to take something like this

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and stick it on the hood of my car, right,

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figure out where I was going to go next.

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Anybody with me on that? Right.

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And and these things were always so difficult.

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So why are they so difficult to close. Right?

00:31:05

So I'm so glad that now, because of

00:31:07

the wonderful thing in my pocket,

00:31:09

I don't have to figure out how to close maps anymore.

00:31:12

Did it wrong. But anyway, that's --

00:31:15

That doesn't happen anymore.

00:31:17

Um, how about this? How about this?

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You know, for those of us who like to cook, I like to cook.

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We used to have cookbooks.

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Anybody like me still have a shelf of these in your house,

00:31:25

right?

00:31:26

Right. You know, but now all of a sudden,

00:31:29

all I have to do is go to, like, you know,

00:31:31

Everyday Food or whatever the website is on my phone,

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and I've got the cookbook.

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It'll even create a shopping list for me. Right?

00:31:39

Chatgpt, I don't know if you know this,

00:31:41

will even order the shopping list according to

00:31:43

the structure of the store you shop in.

00:31:45

I mean, that helps me a lot because I spend

00:31:47

way too much time wandering aisles in supermarkets.

00:31:50

So, you know, I'm glad that that is something that

00:31:53

the phone took away.

00:31:54

How about this one?

00:31:55

Yes! I can't live without my radio. Remember this?

00:32:01

Somebody said they give me $100

00:32:03

if I broke dance at some point this week.

00:32:05

But my thing is, if I did that, I just want to know

00:32:08

will you pay the co-pay for my broken knees if I try that?

00:32:10

So, but man, I remember, man, you had to have a boombox.

00:32:13

And some of us remember when the way this really worked is

00:32:16

if you wanted to record your favorite song,

00:32:18

you had to, like, have it on pause already.

00:32:20

And then when you play on the radio,

00:32:22

you could quickly unpause it. You know?

00:32:24

I'm speaking, I'm speaking a foreign language

00:32:26

to people who are like Gen Z and Gen Alpha.

00:32:27

You don't know anything about that.

00:32:29

But people in here know and remember that.

00:32:31

So, you know, the phone has helped with that.

00:32:33

What else do we have in here? We've got --

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We've got -- oh here's one, here's one.

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Anybody remember the Game Boy? Remember the Game Boy? Yes.

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Now I've got all the Game Boy games plus

00:32:44

right here on my phone.

00:32:46

So there's no doubt.

00:32:48

There's no doubt that this technology has helped.

00:32:50

And you know, last and certainly not least, um.

00:32:55

Oh, where is it? Got a little treasure in here.

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Here it is. It is actually a phone.

00:33:02

It is actually a phone, right?

00:33:04

Like, yes, this is a phone, for those of you

00:33:06

who've never had a wall mounted phone

00:33:08

or never heard of such a thing

00:33:09

and don't even know what a landline is.

00:33:11

Yes, this is a telephone.

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Actually, the funny thing is, when these first came out

00:33:16

as mobile phones they were about this size.

00:33:19

And people would just like carry them on their hips.

00:33:22

It was not far off from that.

00:33:24

But so there's no doubt, there's no doubt that

00:33:27

our technology has helped our lives.

00:33:30

But the question we're wrestling with in this series is

00:33:33

at what cost? At what cost?

00:33:36

Because one of the things for sure is that

00:33:39

we've traded for this convenience, our peace of mind.

00:33:43

We did a survey in the fall of folks at Crossroads,

00:33:48

and it was a part of our 10X Journey.

00:33:50

And you might remember this was called the Soil Survey.

00:33:53

Jesus tells this parable about four soils

00:33:55

representing the four conditions of our heart.

00:33:57

And so we just said, "Hey, how would you describe

00:33:59

the condition of the soil of your heart?"

00:34:01

And I want you to take a look at what you said,

00:34:04

what we as a community experience.

00:34:06

Four out of five people at Crossroads

00:34:08

are feeling distracted. This is self-reported.

00:34:12

Two out of three in addition to that would say that

00:34:16

I feel exhausted. I feel --

00:34:19

I can't even read that. That's too small.

00:34:21

Anxious, unfocused and overwhelmed. Right?

00:34:25

So and here's the thing, there's just no way that

00:34:28

we can't draw a parallel between

00:34:30

some of why we're feeling that way

00:34:33

and what Brian called last week the thief in our pocket.

00:34:37

See, Jesus says that He came that you and I

00:34:40

would have life and have it to the full.

00:34:42

But He says there's another character in our story,

00:34:45

and that character is called the thief, or Satan.

00:34:48

And Jesus says, "Satan came to steal, to kill and to destroy."

00:34:53

And even though there are great benefits

00:34:55

that come with this, I've got all kinds of benefits

00:34:58

that I just illustrated.

00:34:59

There's also no doubt that when it comes to

00:35:01

my use of digital devices like this one,

00:35:04

there's a level at which I've been stolen from.

00:35:07

There's a level at which some of the practices

00:35:10

and habits that I've formed are destructive.

00:35:12

And there's no way that I can disconnect from that.

00:35:15

But here's the thing, there's hope, because Jesus said

00:35:17

He came that you would have life and have it to the full.

00:35:20

So that's the good news.

00:35:22

But in order to step into the gift,

00:35:24

in order to step into the Good News,

00:35:26

we have to recognize we'll never find the good

00:35:29

if we don't step back from being distracted.

00:35:32

You and I, friends, we need a digital reset.

00:35:36

One person said this:

00:35:51

And I want to spend some time on this because

00:35:53

I believe this question is a spiritual Question.

00:35:56

What have we given up in order to gain access to everything?

00:36:00

What have we given up in order to be

00:36:02

accessible everywhere, all the time?

00:36:05

What have we given up in order to have

00:36:07

instant gratification right at our fingertips?

00:36:10

Well, I think this question is a spiritual question

00:36:12

that goes all the way back to the origin story of humanity.

00:36:16

Genesis is the first book of the Bible.

00:36:18

And in Genesis it's giving us the origin of creation,

00:36:21

the created world.

00:36:22

It's also giving us the origin of humanity

00:36:25

and the origin of our relationship with God,

00:36:28

but also the origin of our relationship with the thief.

00:36:31

So I want to take a look at Genesis 2,

00:36:34

early, early in the Bible story.

00:36:35

And in verse 15 it says this:

00:36:47

I want you to listen again to what God said.

00:36:49

"You may surely eat of every tree."

00:36:53

Somebody say every. - Every.

00:36:55

- Every tree of the garden. Only one exception.

00:37:04

I want you to notice the freedom that God gives.

00:37:08

Yes, there's a prohibition, but the prohibition

00:37:11

is so small compared to the freedom.

00:37:15

But then the serpent weaves his way into our story.

00:37:20

And so in Genesis 3, it says this:

00:37:23

Now the serpent was more crafty than

00:37:25

any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

00:37:28

He said to the woman, "Did God actually say,

00:37:37

So I want you to notice that.

00:38:15

I want to tell you right here the words of the serpent here

00:38:18

are really important for us to understand.

00:38:20

What does he say? He says, "No, no, no, no, no.

00:38:22

If you take this, your eyes will be opened

00:38:26

and you will be like God."

00:38:29

These are the core lies that the serpent tells all the time.

00:38:32

Adam and Eve believed it, and it ushered havoc into the world.

00:38:36

It is why the world is so broken.

00:38:38

Because in that moment, sin was unleashed into the world.

00:38:41

There was a a tsunami of brokenness

00:38:43

that was entering into the world.

00:38:45

Because here's the thing, anything, anything

00:38:49

that we place in our lives in the place

00:38:51

that only God should occupy, any of that

00:38:54

the Bible calls idolatry.

00:38:57

And whenever we as humans buy into the lie of an idol,

00:39:01

it never ends well. It never ends well.

00:39:04

And in fact, every idol, every idol, promises

00:39:07

the same core lies

00:39:08

that the serpent promised to Adam and Eve.

00:39:10

Here's what you can interpret those as.

00:39:12

First he says to them, "You will not surely die."

00:39:16

What is he saying there?

00:39:17

He's saying you can be less vulnerable in this broken world.

00:39:21

And who among us doesn't want to be

00:39:23

less vulnerable in this broken world? Right?

00:39:25

That's the temptation that he's offering to them.

00:39:29

But doing it outside of the way that God has provided for it.

00:39:32

He also says this to them, "You will be like God."

00:39:36

What is he saying there? You'll be more powerful.

00:39:39

And I want you to see that the motivation

00:39:42

behind every act we do that the Bible calls sin

00:39:45

is buying into one of these lies.

00:39:47

We either sin to make ourselves

00:39:49

less vulnerable in this broken world,

00:39:52

or we sin because we're trying to gain power for ourselves

00:39:56

in ways that God never intended for us to live in.

00:40:01

And I don't think anything promises to make you

00:40:04

less vulnerable or more powerful than this thief in our pocket.

00:40:09

And that's why we have to reckon with our smartphones,

00:40:12

because it's making the same promise to us,

00:40:14

that same core lie that the serpent

00:40:16

was giving to Adam and Eve in the garden.

00:40:19

Andy Crouch is an author and writer.

00:40:20

He's done a lot of writing on this.

00:40:22

He wrote a book called The Life We're Looking For:

00:40:24

Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World.

00:40:26

I highly recommend it.

00:40:27

And he says this:

00:40:38

What he would say is what makes a human human

00:40:40

is that we have the ability to love with our heart,

00:40:44

with our soul, with our mind, and with our strength.

00:40:46

And so he's saying whenever you buy into a superpower,

00:40:50

you lose something of being human.

00:40:52

He goes on to say it this way:

00:41:21

Let me put this in terms that all of us can understand.

00:41:25

Um, anybody, like, I'm so excited

00:41:28

there's a new Superman movie coming out.

00:41:30

Superman was always my favorite superhero.

00:41:32

Anybody with me on that? Like, I was a Superman kid.

00:41:35

I was just -- I love Superman.

00:41:36

And I remember when I was a kid,

00:41:38

I got to be Superman for Halloween.

00:41:41

And, you know, and this was back in the day.

00:41:42

I'm dating myself with all these references today,

00:41:45

but it's okay, because it's true.

00:41:46

I'm about to be 49. I'm just gonna embrace it.

00:41:48

I had one of those masks that were like

00:41:50

the hard plastic masks that were, like,

00:41:51

cut a line around your face when you wore it.

00:41:54

You know what I'm talking about?

00:41:55

Had one of those and had my Superman cape on.

00:41:57

And the problem with kids in superhero costumes

00:42:01

is we, you know, kids think they're actually

00:42:04

more invincible when they're wearing that costume.

00:42:08

But as parents, we know they're actually more vulnerable

00:42:13

because they think they can do things

00:42:15

that they really can't do.

00:42:16

The first thing I wanted to do,

00:42:18

just because I had a mask on

00:42:20

and just because I had a little cheap cape on,

00:42:22

is I wanted to jump off my porch and try to fly, right?

00:42:27

I was actually in more danger with the costume

00:42:31

than I was without the costume, because the costume

00:42:34

let me pretend to be something that I wasn't.

00:42:37

And I want to submit to you that if unchecked,

00:42:39

we will let our phones allow us to pretend

00:42:42

to be something that we aren't.

00:42:45

So here's how this plays out.

00:42:46

Let's just look at some of the apps,

00:42:48

some of the apps that promise to make us less vulnerable.

00:42:51

Here's one, and I use it all the time, Yelp.

00:42:53

Anybody else use Yelp? I love Yelp.

00:42:55

I don't think I've gone to a new city

00:42:57

and eaten at a restaurant without looking at

00:42:59

the Yelp reviews in, like, the last five years.

00:43:01

Like, I just I live by Yelp, I live by Yelp.

00:43:03

I got somebody who's with me on that.

00:43:05

And it helps, right? It helps.

00:43:06

That way I never have to have a bad steak in another city.

00:43:09

I never have to have bad Mexican in another city. Right?

00:43:12

Because I can look at the thousands of other reviews,

00:43:14

it helps me feel less vulnerable.

00:43:17

Youtube, YouTube, I'm actually today,

00:43:19

my fingers are a little bit sensitive because

00:43:22

I am learning to play the guitar.

00:43:23

And as soon as I got my guitar,

00:43:26

what's the first website I went to?

00:43:27

What's the first app I went to?

00:43:29

Youtube, because you can learn

00:43:31

to do anything on YouTube, right?

00:43:33

And so it makes me feel less vulnerable

00:43:35

to being a new guitar player.

00:43:36

There's also apps that help us feel less vulnerable,

00:43:39

like Two Dots. We got any Two Dots fans in here?

00:43:41

Yeah. You know, Two Dots is helping you

00:43:43

feel less vulnerable because if you're in a conversation

00:43:45

with 5 or 6 people and it gets boring,

00:43:47

you can just exit out of the conversation

00:43:49

and start playing Two Dots while everybody else talks.

00:43:52

So these are all apps that let us pretend

00:43:54

to be things that we aren't.

00:43:56

There's also some apps that help us feel more powerful,

00:43:59

although one of them is losing its luster for me.

00:44:02

I love The Weather Channel.

00:44:04

I love knowing what the weather is, but you know,

00:44:06

other people are watching from all across the country.

00:44:08

I'm in Cincinnati and honestly, I am so frustrated

00:44:11

looking at the Weather Channel because I am done with snow.

00:44:14

I've gotten enough snow for the year.

00:44:15

I don't know about you, but I'm done. I'm good, I'm good.

00:44:18

So I feel less powerful these days

00:44:19

when I open the Weather Channel.

00:44:21

But it does help me feel more powerful because

00:44:22

ten days from now, I get to know whether or not

00:44:24

it's going to snow again, right?

00:44:26

It's a sense of power.

00:44:28

Ring. A lot of us have the Ring App.

00:44:30

Again, I'm not anti any of these apps,

00:44:32

but they let us pretend, right?

00:44:34

Ring is now a way for me to be anywhere in the world

00:44:38

and know who's at my front door.

00:44:39

And if I don't like who's at my front door,

00:44:41

I can do the voice of God thing

00:44:42

and tell him to leave my front door. Right?

00:44:44

I mean, it's just a sense in which it gives us a power.

00:44:47

It lets us pretend.

00:44:48

I could go on and talk about all kinds of apps that do that.

00:44:51

Here's the truth. The truth is,

00:44:53

there's only one being in the universe

00:44:55

that is limitless and that is God.

00:44:59

In fact, there are some words that are kind of words

00:45:02

that describe attributes of God, and it speaks to

00:45:05

His limitlessness.

00:45:06

One of them is omnipresent.

00:45:08

God is able to be everywhere all the time.

00:45:12

I can't, um, but yet God can.

00:45:15

You know, another word that's used for God

00:45:17

is that God is omnipotent,

00:45:19

which means that God is all powerful.

00:45:21

God has ultimate power.

00:45:23

He's not limited by any boundary.

00:45:25

God has the ability to achieve whatever purpose

00:45:28

He intends and wants to achieve.

00:45:30

Another one is that God is omniscient.

00:45:32

He's all knowing.

00:45:33

God knows the beginning from the end.

00:45:35

He knows the past. He knows the future.

00:45:36

And He's also fully aware and knowledgeable of the present.

00:45:40

Like, that's just amazing.

00:45:41

Those are things that are true of God

00:45:44

and they are not true of us.

00:45:47

And yet our phones let us pretend.

00:45:51

Our phones let us pretend to be omniscient

00:45:54

because I can Siri or Google anything.

00:45:57

And yet the impact is clear, our phones are causing us

00:46:01

to lose the ability to think critically.

00:46:04

So we're not getting what we want.

00:46:06

Our phones let us pretend to be omnipresent.

00:46:10

I can go on social media and I can connect

00:46:12

with anybody, anywhere that I ever knew

00:46:14

at any history and point of my life.

00:46:16

And yet we're the loneliest generation in history.

00:46:20

We're not getting what we want.

00:46:21

Our phones let us pretend to be omnipotent.

00:46:24

But Seth Godin, who's a great writer

00:46:26

and thinker on this stuff, said, "We have to remember

00:46:29

the phone isn't the product, you are.

00:46:34

So we're actually not gaining more power.

00:46:36

Actually, the phone is allowing all kinds of

00:46:38

other places and people to influence power over us.

00:46:42

So here's the thing, we can know all this intellectually.

00:46:47

And yet I'm probably going to pick this thing up

00:46:49

like 200 times today. Why is that?

00:46:53

Because every time I pick it up, there's a dopamine hit.

00:46:56

Every time I pick it up, I get to pretend that I'm important.

00:47:00

Every time I pick it up, I get to pretend that I'm all knowing.

00:47:03

And so that is really attractive to us.

00:47:06

And therein lies the problem. Therein lies the problem.

00:47:10

Simon Sinek, he said this, he said:

00:47:27

Well, friends, my name is Chuck, [laughter]

00:47:29

and I probably have a problem, right?

00:47:35

And so that's the invitation to us.

00:47:37

I was thinking about this and reflecting on, like,

00:47:39

what are the things that I thought I was gaining,

00:47:41

but I'm also losing because of the phone?

00:47:43

And one of them is just super simple,

00:47:44

but I think it's super profound.

00:47:46

I have a very low tolerance for boredom now.

00:47:52

Whenever there's a dead moment,

00:47:55

whenever there's something not happening,

00:47:57

whenever I'm not stimulated, it is just like second nature

00:48:00

for me to go and check my phone.

00:48:02

And I was thinking about the impact of this

00:48:05

on my relationships in my house.

00:48:08

Saturday is a day where

00:48:09

hopefully we have less on our schedule.

00:48:12

You know? Unless it's like crazy sports season.

00:48:14

And so it's an opportunity to just be in the house,

00:48:16

be around my family.

00:48:17

And yet it is so easy, and again,

00:48:18

I know we're the only family that does this.

00:48:20

Don't judge us.

00:48:21

But it's easy for all five of us to be

00:48:23

on five different screens in the house at the same time.

00:48:25

I know your family's better than that.

00:48:26

Just don't judge me.

00:48:27

I'm just saying, like, it's real for us. Right?

00:48:29

And so one of the things I've been doing

00:48:32

on Saturdays in particular, is finding where my wife is.

00:48:35

Whatever room she's in, she'd be in the kitchen,

00:48:37

living room, whatever.

00:48:38

And then just like going and just sitting. Just sitting.

00:48:44

Just being in her space.

00:48:47

You know what happens more when I just am in her space?

00:48:52

We talk, we wind up talking and sharing things.

00:48:58

Ad it's just -- it's just really good.

00:49:01

It's just really, really good.

00:49:03

I also have realized this is true with my kids.

00:49:05

I asked for his permission to tell this story.

00:49:07

And so I have his permission. My younger son, Samuel,

00:49:10

The thing he says to me the most in a given week

00:49:13

is, "Dad, I'm bored."

00:49:15

Now he's 13, and so, you know, he's 13 year old boy.

00:49:18

I mean, I guess that's not uncommon.

00:49:19

But, "Dad, I'm bored. Dad, I'm bored." Right?

00:49:22

"Dad, I'm hungry. Dad, I'm bored. Dad, I'm tired.

00:49:25

Dad, I'm bored. Dad, I'm hungry. Dad, I'm bored."

00:49:27

Like, it's just -- It's just that thing.

00:49:29

And so I was thinking about that.

00:49:31

And I'm like, "Man, you know what?

00:49:33

My inability to tolerate boredom is directly

00:49:38

impacted to my son's inability to tolerate boredom.

00:49:42

Because not once, not twice, but many times

00:49:46

when Sam comes to me and says, "Dad, I'm bored,"

00:49:48

what is dad doing? I'm on this phone.

00:49:52

And you know what I'm saying every time

00:49:54

Sam encounters me and I'm on the phone, I'm saying,

00:49:57

"Sam, I'm bored. I'm bored."

00:50:00

Now you can flip this.

00:50:02

There's an opportunity here, a possibility for better,

00:50:05

for different, to experiment with something new.

00:50:07

We did this just a couple of days ago.

00:50:10

We, for kind of Valentine's weekend,

00:50:12

we've called it Family Fun Weekend.

00:50:13

We tend to do, like, a nice meal together

00:50:15

and do some other experiences just to have some family time,

00:50:18

because our kids usually have a longer weekend.

00:50:20

They're off Friday and Monday of that week

00:50:21

because of President's Day and all that.

00:50:23

So anyway, we did that.

00:50:24

We were at a really nice restaurant.

00:50:26

And maybe because of the amount of money

00:50:29

I was spending at the restaurant, I was very clear,

00:50:31

"You are not going to just do what we typically do,

00:50:34

which is, like, go in and figure out what you want,

00:50:37

order, so then you can get on your phones

00:50:39

and me and mom can talk while we wait for the food.

00:50:41

I'm like, we have paid too much darn money for this meal

00:50:43

for that to be the experience, right?"

00:50:45

So maybe that was why, but I just was like,

00:50:47

let's experiment with something.

00:50:48

So we did a family quiz during the meal and it was so fun.

00:50:53

It was a couple rounds.

00:50:54

The first round was just like, you know,

00:50:56

what would be your favorite place to travel?

00:50:58

Or you know, what's a new language you want to learn?

00:51:00

Just like those kinds of questions

00:51:01

that we just all shared.

00:51:03

But then the second round got interesting because

00:51:05

the second round was a bunch of would you rather questions.

00:51:08

And my kids are ages 10-16, which means

00:51:11

you're would you rathers have to include some gross stuff

00:51:13

so you can keep their attention.

00:51:14

So it was really fun and it got really fun and interesting.

00:51:17

Then we did this whole round that was about

00:51:19

how well do you know the other people in your family?

00:51:22

And so it was a series of questions like

00:51:24

one of the questions was who in the family

00:51:28

is most likely to tell a corny joke,

00:51:32

which was me, by the way. That's right.

00:51:33

That's right, it's dad. It was dad. It was dad.

00:51:35

You know, so a bunch of questions like who'd be,

00:51:37

you know, who's the most creative

00:51:39

or who would be the person most likely to climb a mountain

00:51:41

and all that kind of stuff.

00:51:42

And there was another question that was like,

00:51:44

who in the family is most likely to fall asleep

00:51:47

in the middle of a movie?

00:51:49

That's dad too. That's right. That was me too.

00:51:51

So, you know, it was great. It was great.

00:51:53

But here's the thing, what I realized is

00:51:54

if we had done our normal thing,

00:51:56

if we had engaged with our digital devices

00:51:58

the way we often do at a meal,

00:52:01

we would have missed that opportunity.

00:52:03

It was a game changer.

00:52:05

And here's what I believe.

00:52:07

Why do I believe that there's a gift for you

00:52:09

if you step into this?

00:52:10

Because I believe this 40 day reset is an opportunity

00:52:13

for you to receive three specific gifts from God.

00:52:16

God wants you to wake up.

00:52:19

God wants you to choose life.

00:52:22

And God wants you to be free.

00:52:26

These are the gifts if we step into this.

00:52:29

Ephesians 5:14, Brian used this verse last week, says:

00:52:37

I think that these digital worlds we live in

00:52:40

have a way of numbing us.

00:52:42

They have a way of deadening us.

00:52:43

And there are things that God wants to bring alive in you.

00:52:46

If you step into this challenge, if you step into this,

00:52:49

you're going to experience that.

00:52:51

Deuteronomy 30:19, God is talking to the nation of Israel.

00:52:55

He says:

00:53:04

If you step into this,

00:53:06

I think there's a life that you can find.

00:53:09

There's a life that you can regain

00:53:11

that won't just bless you, but it'll bless your children

00:53:14

and it'll bless your children's children.

00:53:16

That's the invitation and the gift that's on the table.

00:53:18

Also, Galatians 5:1 says this:

00:53:28

If we're not careful, we will just be digital slaves,

00:53:34

and there's an opportunity for you to be free.

00:53:37

Not to never use your phone again.

00:53:39

That's not what this is about,

00:53:40

but it's to have a proper relationship

00:53:43

where you're not the product.

00:53:45

The phone is the product.

00:53:47

The phone is a tool. You're not the tool.

00:53:50

And that's what God wants to invite you into.

00:53:53

So we're going to do this.

00:53:54

We're going to do a digital reset.

00:53:56

So I just want to lay this out kind of what can you expect.

00:53:59

First and foremost,

00:54:00

you can expect that this will be challenging.

00:54:03

This will be challenging.

00:54:04

Let me tell you what hit me.

00:54:06

So I don't know if you know this,

00:54:07

but on Thursdays before we do the service at seven,

00:54:09

we do a full run through.

00:54:10

I get on this stage, I give the whole message

00:54:13

to a group of people in the room, and then I get feedback.

00:54:16

I was in the middle, I was at this point in the message

00:54:18

when it hit me that March 5 through April 17,

00:54:22

which is when we're doing this,

00:54:23

is the complete experience of March Madness,

00:54:27

NCAA college tournament basketball.

00:54:32

And I'm just going to be honest, I got on my knees

00:54:34

and I said, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?"

00:54:38

I mean, I've really struggled with this, y'all.

00:54:40

I really struggle with that.

00:54:43

Because one of the things that I want to do

00:54:45

is I want to change my relationship,

00:54:46

not just to my phone, but to TV and how much TV I watch.

00:54:49

I am praying about that right now.

00:54:51

You want to pray with me?

00:54:52

If you got a word for me, I will receive it

00:54:54

because I am struggling with that right now.

00:54:56

So this is not necessarily going to be easy.

00:54:58

But here's the thing, we do hard things at Crossroads.

00:55:01

We do hard things because it's good and this is good for us.

00:55:05

So I want you right now to take out your phone.

00:55:07

I know that sounds very hypocritical

00:55:08

as I've been talking about not being on your phone.

00:55:10

I'm asking you to take out your phone again in church

00:55:13

and I want you to go to Crossroads.net/unplug.

00:55:17

Crossroads.net/unplug.

00:55:20

And when you just go there, scroll through,

00:55:23

because what you're going to find are some tools

00:55:26

that we have set up for you to win in this digital reset.

00:55:30

And I'm just going to highlight a couple of them.

00:55:32

First and foremost, this is not something new to us.

00:55:35

It's the first time we're doing it,

00:55:37

but it's not something that we came up with.

00:55:39

This actually came from a great pastor

00:55:40

and a great church in Nashville, Tennessee,

00:55:42

Church of the City, Pastor Darren Whitehead.

00:55:44

And so there are churches all across the country

00:55:46

that are doing and have done this digital reset.

00:55:49

So we know this works. We know this is a gift.

00:55:51

We know that even though it's challenging,

00:55:53

there's good on the other side of this.

00:55:55

So we want to invite you into that.

00:55:56

As a part of that, one of the tools

00:55:58

that's been really helpful is a tool called Aro.

00:56:01

It's an app, and if you step into the digital reset,

00:56:05

you and your family will have access to it

00:56:07

for free during the reset.

00:56:09

And it is amazing.

00:56:10

It gamifies spending time off your phone.

00:56:13

Many of you are already in it.

00:56:15

I'm trying to catch up to you because some of you

00:56:17

are like doing the thing and it's awesome.

00:56:19

But this app is a great way for you to just

00:56:20

basically you just press a button, you start a session,

00:56:23

you put your phone down.

00:56:24

And then when you pick your phone back up,

00:56:26

it'll tell you how long you were away from your phone,

00:56:28

how many minutes you gained.

00:56:29

And then you get to tag what you were doing

00:56:31

in those minutes, so you can start to see

00:56:33

how the phone may be stealing from you,

00:56:35

or how you may want to reset

00:56:36

your relationship with the phone.

00:56:38

So that's number one.

00:56:39

Number two, every Monday of this opportunity

00:56:44

to be together on this journey,

00:56:46

at our sites we're going to gather for prayer.

00:56:48

We're going to gather in person and pray together.

00:56:52

And I just think God's going to show up

00:56:53

in some amazing ways as we lean into prayer.

00:56:56

So there's a form to register to say, "Hey, I'm in."

00:56:59

And when you get to that form, you can put your name,

00:57:02

you're going to put your email because we want

00:57:04

to send you some encouragement along the way.

00:57:06

And then you will get to say what you are fasting from.

00:57:09

People have been asking, "Chuck, what are the rules?

00:57:11

What are the rules? What does this mean?

00:57:13

What do I need to do?"

00:57:14

There's only one rule, and the rule is this:

00:57:17

go before God and ask Him

00:57:19

how He wants you to engage in the digital reset.

00:57:21

He may call you to things that are different

00:57:23

than what He's calling me to.

00:57:25

I'm going to tell you what I'm thinking about

00:57:27

just so you have a baseline.

00:57:28

But man, maybe these are for you., maybe these aren't.

00:57:30

Number one, I'm going to make my smartphone dumb for 40 days.

00:57:35

And so what that means is all the apps that I use

00:57:37

that are more in the distraction category.

00:57:39

I think we've got some of them up here.

00:57:40

I'm going to take all of those off my phone for 40 days.

00:57:44

I'm going to keep the ones that are utility on the phone.

00:57:47

So that's what I'm going to do.

00:57:48

I'm going to make my smartphone dumb.

00:57:50

Second, I'm going to limit all the screens in my personal use.

00:57:53

That's where I got to come to a decision

00:57:55

on am I not watching any March Madness?

00:57:58

Am I only watching March Madness?

00:57:59

I don't know, but but I'm going to take

00:58:01

a lot of the TV in my life

00:58:03

and it's going to go away for 40 days.

00:58:05

I'm just going to see what that does.

00:58:06

Limit all your screens in your personal use.

00:58:08

Third, limit apps to work hours only.

00:58:10

We're not telling you to not check your email

00:58:12

when your boss emails you.

00:58:15

If you do that and get fired, don't come and say,

00:58:17

"My church told me," don't.

00:58:18

No, that's not what we're saying.

00:58:21

But what we are saying is, hey,

00:58:22

there's some of these apps, maybe a reset looks like,

00:58:25

you know what, I'm going to use those apps

00:58:27

during work hours, but I'm going to lay the phone down

00:58:30

after work hours and not use those apps.

00:58:32

We've had a lot of people experience this

00:58:35

and there's some trends, sorry.

00:58:37

There's some trends that people have seen, that we have seen.

00:58:39

Number one is the first ten or so days is detachment.

00:58:44

It's going to suck.

00:58:47

You're going to go through withdrawal.

00:58:49

You're going to be dreaming about your phone.

00:58:52

You're going to you're going to wake up in the morning

00:58:54

and you're going to be just like punching air,

00:58:56

because you're just so used to the phone.

00:58:58

This is my precious. You're taking my precious away.

00:59:01

I mean, it's going to be hard. It's going to be hard.

00:59:03

But here's the thing, after that,

00:59:05

you'll move into a phase of discovery.

00:59:08

We'll start to be able to say, "Man, I didn't realize

00:59:10

how much I was masking loneliness

00:59:13

by getting on my phone,

00:59:14

or gosh, I'm missing opportunities to connect

00:59:18

with people right in my world because

00:59:20

I'm on this phone during these times.

00:59:22

So you're going to go through a period of discovery,

00:59:24

and then here's what's going to happen.

00:59:26

Eventually, you're going to get to a place of delight.

00:59:29

I don't know if you know this,

00:59:30

but you know that dopamine that we are attracted to

00:59:33

the phone can help to trigger.

00:59:35

Your dopamine can reset to a healthy pre-cellphone level.

00:59:40

And that happens at about three weeks.

00:59:42

And when this happens for people, all of a sudden,

00:59:45

like the world opens up.

00:59:48

The chirping of the birds sounds clearer,

00:59:50

like, the sun feels brighter.

00:59:52

Neurologically you can reset yourself

00:59:55

if you give yourself this space.

00:59:57

And here's the beautiful thing,

00:59:58

when you get to that point, from there,

01:00:01

you get to determine. You get to determine.

01:00:04

The pastor who put this together said some things

01:00:06

I thought were really helpful.

01:00:07

The goal here is to Marie Kondo your digital life

01:00:10

after this digital reset.

01:00:12

Now, if you don't know who Marie Kondo is,

01:00:14

she's really well known for helping people

01:00:16

kind of order their lives, their homes, their things.

01:00:19

And one of the things she does to help people

01:00:21

determine what they want to bring back into their home

01:00:23

or not, is she asked this question,

01:00:25

does this object spark joy?

01:00:29

And if you step away from your phone,

01:00:32

you'll have a chance before you put

01:00:34

an app back on your phone to ask that question.

01:00:37

Does this piece of technology spark joy?

01:00:40

Does TikTok spark joy?

01:00:43

Does IG spark joy in your life?

01:00:45

And it may be. I'm not saying those things can't.

01:00:47

I'm just saying you get to ask the question

01:00:49

from a place of health. Does X spark joy?

01:00:53

If it does, maybe you'll put it back on your phone.

01:00:55

Or you may decide, I've done this.

01:00:58

Like, people send me stuff from Instagram that's funny,

01:01:00

that sparks joy, and I can just click on the link

01:01:04

and it takes me to Instagram's website,

01:01:06

which always starts with them saying

01:01:07

you should download the Instagram app.

01:01:09

To which I say no thank you.

01:01:10

I just want to see this thing that sparks joy.

01:01:12

Maybe you'll change the way that you access

01:01:15

some of the things that you access on your phone.

01:01:18

This will be challenging.

01:01:20

Oh, man, but it can be so good.

01:01:22

There's such a gift in this for us,

01:01:25

and we want to choose it because

01:01:27

there's a vision for better,

01:01:29

and we want to choose it

01:01:31

because we get to do this together.

01:01:33

Final thought for you.

01:01:35

Another lie the serpent is always telling us,

01:01:37

underneath all the other things is

01:01:40

that God is holding out on you.

01:01:42

And I just want to tell you, friend,

01:01:44

God is not holding out on you.

01:01:46

God is for you. God is for you.

01:01:49

I want to finish with the same verse

01:01:51

that we started with, James 1:17.

01:02:06

I want to invite you to stand

01:02:08

and we're going to sing a song in a moment.

01:02:10

But I want to personalize that verse from my own experience.

01:02:15

Like I said, I have three kids.

01:02:17

Maybe countercultural, but I discipline my kids.

01:02:22

I discipline them.

01:02:24

The reason I discipline my kids, though,

01:02:26

is not because I'm doing something to them,

01:02:28

it's because I'm doing something for them.

01:02:32

So I train and coach my kids,

01:02:35

and I'm not training them to bore them or just to say,

01:02:38

"Hey, you got to know what dad thinks."

01:02:39

No, I'm doing that, not to them, but for them.

01:02:43

You know why I do that?

01:02:45

I love you guys. I love all of you.

01:02:47

I love being a pastor at Crossroads.

01:02:49

I love being a leader.

01:02:50

There have been ways in which I've been able

01:02:52

to be a part of some of your lives

01:02:53

in the most difficult moments of your life,

01:02:55

and I am so thankful for that, and I will do that again.

01:02:58

But at the end of the day, let me tell you,

01:03:00

Nathan, Samuel and Isabel are my kids

01:03:03

and I am 100% for my kids.

01:03:06

They only get one dad.

01:03:08

I only want him to have one dad.

01:03:09

And I am for them. I'm for their flourishing.

01:03:11

I'm for their thriving. I'm for them being wise.

01:03:14

I'm for them understanding disciplines

01:03:16

and boundaries and limits.

01:03:17

Because I want them to have the life

01:03:18

that God intends for them to have.

01:03:20

I am for my kids 24/7/365 and on the leap year day.

01:03:26

I'm for my kids.

01:03:29

And the reason that I say that with that kind of passion

01:03:31

is because I'm a broken man.

01:03:33

I'm a selfish dad. I'm not perfect.

01:03:35

But you have a perfect Father in heaven and He is for you,

01:03:39

He is for your kids. He is for you kids.

01:03:41

You're His kids and H

01:03:43

e's for you. And so I want you to know

01:03:44

there's a gift in this for you.

01:03:46

Even when it may feel like discipline in the 40 days,

01:03:49

even when it feels like training

01:03:51

and instruction in the 40 days.

01:03:53

Friend, know that this is a good gift

01:03:55

from a good Father who is for you,

01:03:59

and He wants this for you.

01:04:01

And so I hope you'll step into this and receive the gift.

01:04:04

Are you up for receiving this gift?

01:04:05

Are you up for receiving this gift?

01:04:08

Man, I encourage you.

01:04:10

We're going to be talking next week about

01:04:11

more of the practicalities of this,

01:04:13

but go to crossroads.net/unplugged

01:04:16

and register, opt in.

01:04:18

Spend some time with God thinking about

01:04:19

what that will look like for you.

01:04:21

But as you do that, man, I believe there is

01:04:23

good for you and good for me,

01:04:25

because anything that's good, anything that's good

01:04:28

comes from our loving Father. Let's pray.

01:04:30

God, I pray that You would help us to remember

01:04:34

that there's a gift for us in this reset.

01:04:38

I pray this week that You would help make it clear

01:04:41

how You're inviting each of us to do it.

01:04:43

I pray for great family conversations around tables

01:04:47

or roommates having conversations in dorm rooms

01:04:49

about how they're going to do this together,

01:04:52

come alongside each other.

01:04:53

I pray that high schoolers and middle schoolers

01:04:55

are getting together in their groups and collaborating

01:04:57

and saying, "Hey, how are we going to make this show up

01:04:59

in terms of how we engage our phones beyond school

01:05:02

or how we engage our gaming or our technology?"

01:05:04

God, I just pray that all of us just get a sense

01:05:08

of how much You love us, and that You're inviting us

01:05:12

to something that can help us to wake up,

01:05:15

choose life, and be free.

01:05:18

You want that, and God, I pray that

01:05:20

we would want that for ourselves.

01:05:21

In Jesus's name, Amen. Amen.

01:05:24

- Hey, before you leave, before we walk out

01:05:29

of these doors into all the notifications,

01:05:32

let's remind ourselves of who our God is

01:05:34

and step into agreement and belief with these words.

01:05:39

They're true, right from Scripture and His promise to us.

01:05:44

So say this prayer.

01:06:42

- Now we remind ourselves of who He is and who we're not,

01:06:47

and who He is above all else,

01:06:49

that no one compares to who He is.

01:07:34

- I think we need to sing those ones again.

01:07:36

Just to remember in all of this, all the distraction,

01:07:39

this is exactly who He is.

01:07:41

So you're the savior, the one who redeems all things

01:07:47

and living water that our souls need.

01:07:49

Sing those lines again.

01:08:04

- We'll sing it one more time.

01:09:07

- Lord, we take You at Your word

01:09:10

that you have good things for us.

01:09:13

We trust you.

01:09:16

Our footsteps out of here,

01:09:17

our hope that we leave this place with is trust in You.

01:09:21

For all that you are, we pray this.

01:09:24

If you agree with it, you can say with me. Amen.

01:09:28

That's right. Hey, have a great week.

01:09:31

- Man, that is so good,

01:09:33

and somehow, exactly what I needed to hear.

01:09:35

I love what Chuck said, where he's talking about

01:09:37

a fast and a reset isn't just about what you take away,

01:09:40

but it's what you put back in its place.

01:09:42

- Yeah. So good.

01:09:43

- For me, I'm like, man, what are the things

01:09:45

that I'm going to take away?

01:09:47

And what are the things that I'm going to put in place?

01:09:49

What are the habits? What are the opportunities?

01:09:51

And for me, I'm old, so it's not like

01:09:53

social media is not my main thing,

01:09:55

but it's more, honestly, it's like cruising

01:09:58

for deals on Facebook Marketplace or eBay or whatever.

01:10:01

There's this like shopping thing

01:10:03

where I don't even spend a lot of money,

01:10:05

but I can spend tons of time.

01:10:07

It's one of those things that's going to have to go,

01:10:09

because I've had multiple moments,

01:10:10

even just as I've been paying attention to this,

01:10:12

where like, I'll be doing something on my phone

01:10:14

and I'll look down and see my five year old son

01:10:17

waiting for my attention while

01:10:19

I'm cruising for a deal on eBay or whatever.

01:10:22

I don't want that.

01:10:23

I want to show up well for my family.

01:10:25

I want to show up well for my wife and for my kids.

01:10:27

And so, man, if this reset is part of

01:10:29

what's going to help me do that, I want in.

01:10:31

What about you? - Yeah.

01:10:33

I mean, I'm the same.

01:10:34

I need to definitely limit my time

01:10:37

just scrolling pointlessly on social media

01:10:39

and spend time and actually make more memories.

01:10:41

I think that's one of my goals in 2025.

01:10:44

But I want to know, like, what are the rules to this?

01:10:46

Like, how do I succeed? How do I win? What are the rules?

01:10:49

- Great question. How do I win? I like that.

01:10:51

No, there are no rules to this.

01:10:52

This is really important.

01:10:54

There's not one size fits all plan

01:10:56

that everybody around Crossroads is going to do. No.

01:10:59

That actually, that's not the purpose of this at all.

01:11:01

The purpose of this is for us to have a dialog

01:11:04

and a conversation with God around what we need to do,

01:11:07

around what we need to cut out,

01:11:08

and what we need to add into our lives

01:11:10

so that we can experience the kind of growth

01:11:13

and health that God wants for us.

01:11:14

Because while everybody in the news would agree

01:11:17

social media is hurting our our mental health

01:11:19

and our emotional health,

01:11:20

this is a spiritual exercise, not a self-help one.

01:11:23

This is an opportunity for us to lean into

01:11:25

how God created us to function,

01:11:27

so that we can hear from Him more,

01:11:28

so that we can connect with Him more.

01:11:30

And lots of good stuff will come once we get that in place.

01:11:33

And so I'm excited for the work that this is going to require,

01:11:35

and excited to see what God does on the back end.

01:11:38

- Yeah, definitely. That's so good.

01:11:40

Well, hey, thanks for watching and we'll see you next time.

The Thief in Your Pocket

God Wants to Give You a Gift

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