Ever feel like an imposter at work? Me too.
It doesn’t matter how much success I achieve, the extra projects I’m asked to head up, or the special teams I’m included on—at the office, I’ve routinely felt like the wrong person in the wrong place.
But not all hope is lost. After nearly two decades in the workforce, I’m learning to apply some ancient wisdom that’s doing what achievements and accolades could never do—shut the imposter up, so I can focus on doing good work.
(Full disclosure: I love my job. But I understand that’s not true for everyone, and that not every job, or boss, or work schedule is created equal. Sometimes a job is just a job, and that’s okay. I’ve done work like that, earning money just to feed the kids and pay the bills. In those moments, I didn’t have time to feel like an imposter. I just needed to get to that payday.)
As my career has taken twists and turns, I’ve found two reasons for my imposter syndrome.
Sometimes, I felt like an imposter because the job wasn’t a good fit. In college, I had a multi-year gig as a DJ at an ice skating rink. For an introvert who despises Top 40 music as much as the cold, I’m not sure how I lasted beyond my first week. For me, dealing with that kind of imposter was pretty straightforward: it was time to take a risk and try something new.
The second, and more insidious type of imposter, is the one that rears its head not because you aren’t in a good place, but precisely because you are. He whispers in your ear that you can’t possibly hang with these people; you can’t move this project forward; you don’t belong in this office; you aren’t good enough.
A few years back, I landed a dream gig. I actually get paid to be creative, working on teams making content that I find incredibly important. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d get paid for this type of work. In this role, it’s not dissatisfaction driving the issue—it’s how freaking good everyone else around me is. I’m surrounded by unparalleled leaders, unbelievable creatives, and incredibly talented thinkers, writers, and performers. We have wise sages and hot-shot 20-somethings. It regularly leaves me wondering…when are they going to figure out I don’t belong here?
It’s in those moments that I have to remember my feelings aren’t reality. It’s true that emotions can be powerful and influential, but they’re not always to be trusted. They can be incredibly fickle little devils. In our postmodern world, where living your truth is valued above all else, the truth often gets thrown by the wayside.
My truth, at least what I was feeling, was that I was the weak link on my teams at work, the one people thought shouldn’t have been invited, included or hired. But was that the truth? After weeks of trying to push the imposter back down, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to do something about it.
No matter what you think of Jesus, you’ve likely heard this piece of wisdom, “You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32). That idea holds water. Once you know, you know….You know?
Near the middle of the Bible, there’s a collection of wise sayings called Proverbs—think fortune cookie slips, but like, actually helpful. It was this ancient wisdom that began to poke and prod at my imposter. So I decided to put it to the test.
To defeat the imposter living inside me, I needed the Proverbs and some TLC (no waterfalls included). Here’s what I learned along the way:
T - TALK TO SOMEONE
Nothing good grows in the dark. The more I tried to keep my imposter hidden, pushed down, and buried under more projects and overtime, the worse he became. It was a terrifying thought to actually bring him out into the light and willingly share the inadequacy I was feeling. But if I was going to find freedom, I’d have to open my mouth.
Proverbs says, “The sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel” (27:9). Whenever possible, include someone else’s perspective—not just into your life and emotions, but your work projects, your family, even your deep, dark secrets. The collective wisdom of others is one of the greatest gifts God has given us, and one our fiercely independent culture too often ignores.
Honesty about your imposter is a critical step to loosening his grip on your life. That being said, who you choose to be honest with is paramount. Who is a friend you can trust to give you good counsel? Proverbs gives a good filter: “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive” (27:6).
According to Proverbs, a friend is a trustworthy person who won’t just tell you what you want to hear, but will instead lovingly and honestly point you back to the truth.
The first person I confessed my imposter to was my wife. Because she’s awesome, she encouraged me to take it higher up the chain of command—this had been my plan all along, but I’ll admit, I was thinking about flaking on it. Her belief propelled me to take it to my direct report at work.
It’s important how this conversation is framed. It’s a bad look to run into a one-on-one with your boss and vomit all your feelings of inadequacy all over them. It’s an entirely other thing to handle it in a professional manner that opens the door for honest (and potentially critical) feedback.
To begin that conversation, I said something like this:
“I’ve been feeling a bit off lately, like my performance and efforts weren’t up to our company’s standards. I’ve taken the time to think critically about it, trying to decide if that’s true or not, and wanted your insight into it. Am I meeting your (and the team’s) expectations? Are there any areas where I can be improving or more intentionally focusing my efforts?”
Cue the pit sweats.
What did my boss say? More on that later.
Full disclosure: my boss is pretty rad, and I understand that might not be the case for you. You might be reading this, thinking there’s no way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks I’m having that conversation with my boss. Totally cool, I’ve had those bosses as well. But even in those types of jobs, it’s paramount to find someone to have the discussion with. Maybe it’s a seasoned veteran at work, someone from a different department you’ve collaborated with, or a close friend who’s been a source of wisdom in the past.
Whatever you do, don’t keep the imposter in—the first knock-out punch is thrown when you choose to share honestly. Inadequacy and mold both hate the light… so flip the switch.
L - LISTEN WELL
If you’re gonna ask a question, you better be prepared to listen to the answer.
I’d taken a risk and put the words of Proverbs to the test, confessing my growing imposter syndrome to my boss. Now the ball was in her court. Want to know what she said?
Actually, her answer doesn’t matter—because what’s important in this equation isn’t her response, but the hard choice to humble myself and actually listen. No matter what she said, I had to choose to believe that she had my best interest at heart, that her words (glowing or stinging) were meant to improve me (and my team), and that it was now my duty to find ways to implement her wisdom into my work life.
While bringing the imposter out into the open makes him conquerable, listening to the wisdom of others is what robs him of his power.
What my boss said both encouraged and challenged me. On days when I feel the imposter wanting to rear his ugly head, I choose to believe her encouragement. And when I start to feel myself get a bit too big for my britches, the challenge brings me back down to earth.
What happened in that conversation was a sharpening. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” A blade is sharpened when the inconsistencies and impurities on its surface are chipped away. I’m a better employee and teammate now because of that conversation with my boss. And the imposter? He’s much easier to send packing now that he’s forced to not only live in the light, but to stand up under the honest words spoken to me.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, but I know it might not be yours. While you may not be in a position to have the type of conversation I did—I can almost guarantee you have two ears bolted onto your head. So use them to listen. In your employee reviews, hear positive encouragements as “keep-doing-thats” and critical feedback as an opportunity to grow. Listen to the wisdom of more experienced peers. Genuinely invite others to speak into your efforts, work ethic, and ideas. Make questions like “What can I do better?” or “How can I help this team more effectively?” a regular part of your conversations at work.
The imposter thrives on assumptions, so invitations of honesty and authenticity at work are like nails on a chalkboard to him.
(Note: I work in a pretty healthy place, where honesty and integrity are valued. I know that’s not the case for everyone. If you work in a place where it feels like those in authority above you, or who work alongside you, aren’t capable of speaking truth for your benefit, this advice to listen can get a bit sticky. In everything—healthy workplace or not—you should be practicing discernment when others speak into you and your character. Unpacking all that that means is another article for another day, but here’s the TL;DR version: prayerfully consider all feedback, understanding that not every critical word is a lie, and not every positive praise is the truth.)
C - (RE)CALIBRATE
Bringing the imposter out into the open threatens him. Listening well to the appropriate voices robs him of his power. But it’s step three, the recalibration of your mind and thought patterns, that will finally kill the monster.
Our wisdom literature, Proverbs, says that it’s wise “to know well the condition of your flocks” (27:23). That, of course, means you should keep tabs on the health of your family, friends, and finances. But it also means you need to work to understand the person closest to you—yourself.
While growing into adulthood means learning to be discriminating when it comes to the voices I trust outside myself, I haven’t always been careful about the words I speak to myself. That’s where the imposter gets his hooks in me. Driving him away involves learning to think about yourself, your work, and your place in the world differently.
Back to the wisdom of Proverbs. In chapter 23, it drops the following bomb (written in the old English because it sounds sweet): “As a man thinketh, so is he” (23:7). It sounds like pop spirituality, but I’ve found it to be true, over and over again. My thoughts hold much more power over my day, my life, and perspective than I want to give them credit for.
If I think that I’m the wrong person, in the wrong role at work, I’m bound to find evidence that backs up that claim (while blindly passing by evidence to the contrary).
If I expect work to always be a slog, then I’ll never find anything to enjoy between 9am and 5pm.
If I believe that the next promotion or big project will finally make me feel worthy of my role, I’ll never arrive, because there will always be someone higher up the corporate ladder than I am.
For me, recalibration means not trusting every thought that comes into my head. Instead, like a skilled doctor, I need to biopsy it. That means taking it apart, seeing what it’s made of, and deciding if it’s true (keep it) or not (throw it away).
As I’ve learned to do this, I’ve uncovered the existential question my imposter stands on, one that’s wreaked havoc not only at work, but at home, with my friends, and even in my hobbies. Interestingly enough, it’s a question that no one at the office (or anywhere else, for that matter) is qualified to answer: am I good enough?
There may be a similar question driving the imposter in your life: Am I worthy? Do I belong? Am I valued? Am I more than a cog in a machine? Do I have purpose? Am I worth my paycheck? Am I lovable?
None of those questions can be answered by your boss, a valued coworker, or even yourself. The only party capable of giving a true answer is the One who created you. And, believe it or not, He has plenty to say on the subject.
The Bible says that God created you on purpose (Psalm 139:16) and for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10). It says He takes great delight in you (Psalm 147:11), to the point that He would spend His own Son to rescue (Romans 5:8) and be reconciled to you (2 Corinthians 5:21). It says He wants to give you good things (Matthew 7:11), and will even use the bad (Genesis 50:20) to conform you more into the image of Jesus (Romans 8:28-29). The Bible even goes so far as to say that work is good (Genesis 2:15), that it can bring a degree of meaning and security to your life (Proverbs 12:11), but the secret to the good life isn’t in what you can get done, but in knowing (and being known) by God (John 17:3).
When it comes down to it, I can use the fleeting success of work to answer my question, ”Am I good enough?” or I can choose to find that answer in a more permanent source. One approach will kill the imposter; the other will give it an opportunity to not only keep showing up in my life, but eventually dominate it.
Proverbs 27:18 says, “The one who guards a fig tree will eat its fruit.” Seems pretty self-explanatory. Whatever is most important, we guard. It’s why I put chicken wire around the garden in my backyard, store my money in a bank, and lock my doors at night. Your mind is just as valuable. Guard it, recalibrate it around the truth, and kick the godforsaken imposter to the curb.
OVERCOME THE IMPOSTER AT WORK
The most surprising part of this entire journey was discovering I wasn’t the only person fighting the imposter. In fact, nearly everyone I’ve talked to has felt his claws in them too. The incredible leaders I look up to? Yep. The creatives I measured myself against? Them too. The person doing incredible work in the role that seems like a custom-fit? Even them.
At my office, and I’m guessing yours too, imposter syndrome is as common as unclaimed (and now molding) food in the break room fridge (It’s not mine, I swear!). But propelled forward by the wisdom of Proverbs, I’m not powerless anymore, and neither are you. All you need is a little TLC—change your narrative by being bold enough to talk, brave enough to listen, and willing enough to do the hard work of (re)calibration.
Unless you’ve got the right lottery ticket in your pocket, you’re going to be working for a long time yet. Make it count.
Overcome the imposter, and go do good work.
